The World-Wide Internet

Once again proving that you can find just about anything on the Internet...
I present to you, Unicorn sex...

In other news, Hunter finally figured out that his spare car wasn't actually as dead as he once thought, so I no longer have to do battle with those evil car salesmen. That's a good thing, because they take dim views of blaster usage in these parts and many of them were getting sorely on my nerves.

Aston West , unicorns, car salesmen

All Apologies

Yikes, who knew that Earth illnesses could be so nasty?
I've been down and out for about a week with something or other.
I blame Hunter, myself...

I would have figured Vladirian liquor would have conquered it,
since it seems to do so well against a variety of other interstellar ailments.
(even if that isn't its intended use)

So, hopefully I'll be back up to speed soon.

In the meantime, leave a comment or two...

Aston West

Simply Amazing

You know, I haven't been around these parts long. I'm not altogether familiar with the way this planet conducts its business. I'm also not the brighest guy in the universe, but one would think this would make a person go "huh?"

http://www.nbc4i.com/news/5492395/detail.html
http://www.nbc4i.com/news/7577043/detail.html

All About the Money

So, it would seem I'm stuck here on Earth for a while. The lack of spare parts availability in this area is unbelievable.

So, since I'm stuck here, I figured I'd probably need some sort of personal vehicle to get around, since the city I'm in has this aversion to any substantial form of public transportation.

Anyway, I went around to a few places to find something cheap (since there aren't any places around here where I can exchange galactic credits for dollars, and since I don't have a job).

I've come to the conclusion that car salesmen are simply the vilest people in the known universe(and no offense meant to those reading who may have chosen this profession). That's a pretty tough feat to achieve, considering some of the shady folks out there.

A couple of stories from my journey:

First off, it seemed to me that everywhere I went, I was greeted by someone who was brand new (they even told me so...smooth). They must have serious training in how to be a pain in the a** in car salesman school.

One such newbie walked out of the building, and I could smell him (I kid you not) from at least 10 feet away (I'm beginning to learn Earth units of measure...slowly). I'm not exactly sure why he thought it a good idea to douse himself in some sort of fragrance. On Yordley Prime, I think he'd be called bait.

So, Bait-Boy walks up and introduces himself and asks what I'm looking for. I explain it to him, at which point he asks about financing. Fortunately, Hunter has already explained the evils of this system called financing, so I explain that I will not be partaking of any financing. At this point, he asks if I'd like to come in and fill out some information for a pre-approval form.

Since I would not be partaking of financing, one has to wonder why I would need any kind of pre-approval. Do they, during this extensive salesman school training, also suck a person's brain out of their head?

Needless to say, my response (roughly close to the paragraph above, minus the brain-sucking comment) did not seem to register with him, so he quickly walked back into the building and brought out a more seasoned opponent. Even more needless to say, our attempts at searching proved futile.

A second of these salesman fiends (separate dealer) apparently did not understand the concept of cheap. He continually attempted to show me vehicles which were almost as much as buying a new vehicle. Not to mention, when bringing me before his more seasoned companion (did I also mention he was brand new?), explained how I was looking to spend around "three or four grand" when I had specifically given an amount FAR less than that.

I think the evidence is gathering for my theory of a brain-sucking session in car salesman school.
The search continues...

Aston West
Cars
Car Salesman

Ranting On

So here's a rant...

Okay, two rants. Sue me.

Why is it that the people who need to help themselves out of the hole they've dug themselves financially are the least likely people to actually take the necessary steps to do so?

Second to that, why is it that people tell you to be more assertive, but then when you do, those same people turn and tell you to stop being so "pushy"?

Perhaps I'll continue this discussion in the comments later...

Aston West

Something to Say...

Do I really have anything to say, or is it just an illusion?

Aston West

The Finish of FID

Well, it's about damn time. Hunter finally finished all the edits on his latest novel. Hopefully he has better luck finding a publisher for this one than he did the last. I'm still having nightmares...

Aston West , Friends in Deed , Publishing , Novel

Welcome Back

That was a heck of a trip...I'll have to tell you all about it sometime.
Just remember for future reference, never stare at (even in the general direction of) a Brisarian female.
Yikes.

In other news, I notice that Hunter has been hard at work on finishing up the final edits of FID. It's about time that guy got his butt in gear. Unfortunately, it all seem to flow as I'm off on a trip. I wonder if there's a correlation. I hope not.

Aston West , Friends in Deed

Blogger and its Wisdom

So, I'm sitting around trying to comment on a few blogs, namely those of Dawno, Laurel, and Hunter. Lo and behold, all require 'word verification' for posting comments. In itself, not a problem. But they have this knack for not only putting letters for you to type, half the time they're cocked off as strange angles and scrunched together so it's tougher to actually read the letters.

Granted, I'm half-inebriated (but can I spell?) most of the time.

Aston West

Silly Earth Customs

Before cuddling up with a bottle, I need to post a small tidbit here, as it apparently is an Earth custom to send these things called memes around. Apparently, I've been “tagged” by PeeDee, who bears some resemblence to an anonymous poster I've seen rummaging around Hunter's blog...

So here are these meme instructions:

1. First, you must visit your archives.
2. Find the 23rd post, which in my case doesn't exist, and explains my dismay in the rationale for this bizarre Earth custom.
5. And then, you post the fifth sentence from it. Again, no 23rd post. My luck, it would have been a drinking post where I didn't even construct five sentences.
4. Post the sentence, likewise the instructions, into your blog. Check. Jeanie, get the ship warmed up...I think these Earthlings are doomed.
5. And this is the part where I “tag” other people.

To avoid anyone else reaping the benefits of being a 23rd post-less wonder, I shall attempt to "tag" people who actually have more than 23 posts total. I'm not going to the effort to figure out if their 23rd post contains 5 sentences...

Mac surely has enough, and I'm going to go out on a limb to say that her posts are NEVER less than five sentences.

Here's a blog I just found the other day...should include the standard Hunter-prudish warnings about some adult content (how fast can you click, guys?)

And since things should always come in threes (okay, the warning about adult content stopped before this paragraph...sicko freaks), Don here has made a recent visit to one of my favorite places, Mindsight.

Now that the fun is over, I shall say that the only reason I have participated in this exercise was Dawno, queen of the sparkly ears. I must discover the secret to these sparkly ears that make people do things they do not wish to do. It would come in quite handy, I think.

A Random Post

Nothing new to report around here...
Just woke up from a drunken stupor, and decided to post to the blog...

Aston West

One More Time for Hunter

I've been trying to explain to Hunter that this is the kind of thing that sells books, but he won't listen to me. This guy allegedly made up his memoirs (I, on the other hand, would NEVER do such a thing...never...ever...maybe I embellish a little here and there), and it's a bestseller. Not only that, but he's gotten on Oprah...and we all know that's the be-all/end-all of writers' dreams everywhere.

C'mon Hunter...get with the program...

Aston West , James Frey , Novel

Hunter's New Blog

Well, Hunter went and created his own blog. I see that the gauntlet has now been thrown down...

Aston West

Here's a Good One

So, in case you didn't already know, Hunter likes to write books (of the stories I tell him about my travels). So, while I'm browsing the various writer's sites when he's not around, I occassionally come across an interesting thread.

I'm surprised I didn't come up with this plan for Hunter's first book. Convincing people to buy the book on the basis that they may get a part in the movie? I imagine I'd have a few more morals than to try and pull a con on unsuspecting actors and actresses. But then, I might have based it on the particular actor or actress.

A New Year, A New Post

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I'm still alive, and that I didn't drink myself into oblivion (I will be around later to collect on those wagers, by the way).

Hunter looked over my blog, but just shook his head and walked out of the room...

Aston West

A Tragic Tale

Just checking out some news stories online, and came across this article. Apparently, humans have yet to realize the dangers inherent to projectile weapons. In my own galaxy, only the Gohr continue to use these types of weapons (and they're fairly sadistic beings, for whatever that's worth). Not to say that all energy weapons aren't deadly (as anyone who's seen a disintegrator cannon in action can confirm), but the vast majority are set to temporary disable a person, until you choose otherwise. It seems that even the most innocent of projectile weapons can kill a person without intending to do so.

Tragic...

Aston West , Air Rifles

The Day After Christmas

You had to know it was coming...

Well, Christmas came and went. I'm still not sure what it was all about, but besides the gifts, I also learned that almost nothing is open the whole day. Hopefully no one needed anything desperately...

Ah, the gifts. I marveled at the number of tools Hunter received from his wife. I have a feeling she is trying to give him hints of upcoming work projects to complete. I think I may need to take a trip in the near future, to avoid being drawn into any such disaster.

Hunter warned me up front about his wife's gift-giving habits, but I never believe him as it is, so it was a large surprise when I received 'cute' gifts such as stuffed animals and candy-filled containers. Although the candy was fine, and helps to ward off intoxication a little longer, I have no idea what possessed her to give me these little animals that were never alive to begin with.

Whatever shall I do with these children's toys? I have no children, I have no family of my own. Perhaps I shall present them to Rione or Juniper, who may have a better use for them than I do? If they make it that far. The more I look at them, the more I'm tempted to set up a shooting range on my ship.

Hunter came through, however, and presented me with a gift certificate to a liquor store, so I can cure my withdrawl symptoms. Maybe he isn't such a prude after all.

Well, maybe he is. At his family gathering, after gifts were presented and babies were allowed to play in the wrapping paper (disturbing little creatures, these human babies), a wondrous drink was passed around called eggnog. Unfortunately, for me, they put no alcohol inside, even though they made it themselves. A cruel, cruel joke, Hunter...

Aston West , Christmas , eggnog , teddy bears

The Day Before Christmas

Ah, the day before Christmas, and I'm sitting here wondering what Hunter bought for me. We were walking through the stores the other day, and there was a huge line outside of one store, a place called Best Buy (which reminded me more of black market bazaars than a shop, especially with those prices...whew). We noticed a line gathering at the door while we were waiting in the nice warm comfort of Hunter's vehicle, and couldn't figure out why everyone was so anxious to stand out in the cold. As the store opened and we walked inside, a worker attempted to hand us a ticket to buy an Xbox 360.

"What is this Xbox 360?" I asked.
"A game system."
"What do you do with it?"
"Play games."
"How much does it cost?"
"400 dollars."
"To play games?"
"Yes."
"Is there perhaps an Xbox 160 I could find? Something a bit cheaper?"
"The regular Xbox, you could probably find for 90 dollars, used."
"Does it still play games?"
"Yes, but they're not as good."
"But you can still play games?"
"Yes."

I'll never understand humans.

Aston West, Christmas, Xbox 360

The Kat and I

Fat Cat and I have apparently come to an understanding. She agrees not to threaten me with eating utensils, while I agree to let her nap in my lap on occasion.

In other news, Hunter tells me Christmas is around the corner. I have no idea what that is, to tell the truth, but he mentioned something about gifts...which is always a plus.

Aston West , cats, Christmas

Hunter's FID Update

Since obviously, this is what people are coming here for (if they are)...

Hunter finally gave me an update on where he's at with his latest book about me. I try to explain to him that all he has to do is write down what I tell him and get it published, but he moans and complains about things like editing and re-editing, spelling and garbage like that. He'll learn one of these days...

So, here it is...

Friends in Deed is now complete, and in the hands of Hunter's beta readers. It sounds like when they finish up with it, he's going to do more editing (sigh), and then start submitting it around. So, those who enjoyed Hero shouldn't have much of a wait left (Hunter wanted to add, "I hope." We'll keep working on that confidence factor, Hunter. Now, shut up and go get me a bottle.)

In the interim, we've been sitting around while I tell him my next story. I don't know where in the world he comes up with the titles for these things. They're nothing like I'd pick out for them...now tell me, what the heck would be wrong with using The Great and Mighty Aston West Returns to Lycus IV (to Kick Some Major Butt)? Doesn't that sound better that Friends in Deed? I mean, please!!!

Oh, yeah, I was telling you the next title. He's come up with Death Brings the Victory. Fortunately, for me, he says it's just a working title...I still have some time to change his mind.

Aston West , Friends in Deed, Novel