04 March 2006

All About the Money

So, it would seem I'm stuck here on Earth for a while. The lack of spare parts availability in this area is unbelievable.

So, since I'm stuck here, I figured I'd probably need some sort of personal vehicle to get around, since the city I'm in has this aversion to any substantial form of public transportation.

Anyway, I went around to a few places to find something cheap (since there aren't any places around here where I can exchange galactic credits for dollars, and since I don't have a job).

I've come to the conclusion that car salesmen are simply the vilest people in the known universe(and no offense meant to those reading who may have chosen this profession). That's a pretty tough feat to achieve, considering some of the shady folks out there.

A couple of stories from my journey:

First off, it seemed to me that everywhere I went, I was greeted by someone who was brand new (they even told me so...smooth). They must have serious training in how to be a pain in the a** in car salesman school.

One such newbie walked out of the building, and I could smell him (I kid you not) from at least 10 feet away (I'm beginning to learn Earth units of measure...slowly). I'm not exactly sure why he thought it a good idea to douse himself in some sort of fragrance. On Yordley Prime, I think he'd be called bait.

So, Bait-Boy walks up and introduces himself and asks what I'm looking for. I explain it to him, at which point he asks about financing. Fortunately, Hunter has already explained the evils of this system called financing, so I explain that I will not be partaking of any financing. At this point, he asks if I'd like to come in and fill out some information for a pre-approval form.

Since I would not be partaking of financing, one has to wonder why I would need any kind of pre-approval. Do they, during this extensive salesman school training, also suck a person's brain out of their head?

Needless to say, my response (roughly close to the paragraph above, minus the brain-sucking comment) did not seem to register with him, so he quickly walked back into the building and brought out a more seasoned opponent. Even more needless to say, our attempts at searching proved futile.

A second of these salesman fiends (separate dealer) apparently did not understand the concept of cheap. He continually attempted to show me vehicles which were almost as much as buying a new vehicle. Not to mention, when bringing me before his more seasoned companion (did I also mention he was brand new?), explained how I was looking to spend around "three or four grand" when I had specifically given an amount FAR less than that.

I think the evidence is gathering for my theory of a brain-sucking session in car salesman school.
The search continues...


  1. Best wishes finding a vehicle. It's a heroic journey worthy of your adventurous spirit. Try not to disintegrate anyone while you're looking.

  2. I might be doing the world a favor, don't you think?

    I think I may have found a pair of suitable choices, but need to find out more about them. These Earth vehicles are so ancient and their inner workings seem rather strange compared to my ship...

    A single belt powering nearly all of the systems on the vehicle? Who was the genius to come up with that one?

  3. That's a question for Mad Scientist Matt. He's the car expert. I'm still waiting for him to show me how to turn my muffler into a photon torpedo launcher.

  4. First you need to find yourself a handheld atomic accelerator, so I've heard...


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