29 December 2005

A Tragic Tale

Just checking out some news stories online, and came across this article. Apparently, humans have yet to realize the dangers inherent to projectile weapons. In my own galaxy, only the Gohr continue to use these types of weapons (and they're fairly sadistic beings, for whatever that's worth). Not to say that all energy weapons aren't deadly (as anyone who's seen a disintegrator cannon in action can confirm), but the vast majority are set to temporary disable a person, until you choose otherwise. It seems that even the most innocent of projectile weapons can kill a person without intending to do so.



26 December 2005

The Day After Christmas

You had to know it was coming...

Well, Christmas came and went. I'm still not sure what it was all about, but besides the gifts, I also learned that almost nothing is open the whole day. Hopefully no one needed anything desperately...

Ah, the gifts. I marveled at the number of tools Hunter received from his wife. I have a feeling she is trying to give him hints of upcoming work projects to complete. I think I may need to take a trip in the near future, to avoid being drawn into any such disaster.

Hunter warned me up front about his wife's gift-giving habits, but I never believe him as it is, so it was a large surprise when I received 'cute' gifts such as stuffed animals and candy-filled containers. Although the candy was fine, and helps to ward off intoxication a little longer, I have no idea what possessed her to give me these little animals that were never alive to begin with.

Whatever shall I do with these children's toys? I have no children, I have no family of my own. Perhaps I shall present them to Rione or Juniper, who may have a better use for them than I do? If they make it that far. The more I look at them, the more I'm tempted to set up a shooting range on my ship.

Hunter came through, however, and presented me with a gift certificate to a liquor store, so I can cure my withdrawl symptoms. Maybe he isn't such a prude after all.

Well, maybe he is. At his family gathering, after gifts were presented and babies were allowed to play in the wrapping paper (disturbing little creatures, these human babies), a wondrous drink was passed around called eggnog. Unfortunately, for me, they put no alcohol inside, even though they made it themselves. A cruel, cruel joke, Hunter...

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24 December 2005

The Day Before Christmas

Ah, the day before Christmas, and I'm sitting here wondering what Hunter bought for me. We were walking through the stores the other day, and there was a huge line outside of one store, a place called Best Buy (which reminded me more of black market bazaars than a shop, especially with those prices...whew). We noticed a line gathering at the door while we were waiting in the nice warm comfort of Hunter's vehicle, and couldn't figure out why everyone was so anxious to stand out in the cold. As the store opened and we walked inside, a worker attempted to hand us a ticket to buy an Xbox 360.

"What is this Xbox 360?" I asked.
"A game system."
"What do you do with it?"
"Play games."
"How much does it cost?"
"400 dollars."
"To play games?"
"Is there perhaps an Xbox 160 I could find? Something a bit cheaper?"
"The regular Xbox, you could probably find for 90 dollars, used."
"Does it still play games?"
"Yes, but they're not as good."
"But you can still play games?"

I'll never understand humans.

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21 December 2005

The Kat and I

Fat Cat and I have apparently come to an understanding. She agrees not to threaten me with eating utensils, while I agree to let her nap in my lap on occasion.

In other news, Hunter tells me Christmas is around the corner. I have no idea what that is, to tell the truth, but he mentioned something about gifts...which is always a plus.

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18 December 2005

Hunter's FID Update

Since obviously, this is what people are coming here for (if they are)...

Hunter finally gave me an update on where he's at with his latest book about me. I try to explain to him that all he has to do is write down what I tell him and get it published, but he moans and complains about things like editing and re-editing, spelling and garbage like that. He'll learn one of these days...

So, here it is...

Friends in Deed is now complete, and in the hands of Hunter's beta readers. It sounds like when they finish up with it, he's going to do more editing (sigh), and then start submitting it around. So, those who enjoyed Hero shouldn't have much of a wait left (Hunter wanted to add, "I hope." We'll keep working on that confidence factor, Hunter. Now, shut up and go get me a bottle.)

In the interim, we've been sitting around while I tell him my next story. I don't know where in the world he comes up with the titles for these things. They're nothing like I'd pick out for them...now tell me, what the heck would be wrong with using The Great and Mighty Aston West Returns to Lycus IV (to Kick Some Major Butt)? Doesn't that sound better that Friends in Deed? I mean, please!!!

Oh, yeah, I was telling you the next title. He's come up with Death Brings the Victory. Fortunately, for me, he says it's just a working title...I still have some time to change his mind.

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15 December 2005

Nice Kitty...

So, from time to time, I hang out with Hunter (and if anyone can tell me why, please do)...

I need to slap him upside the head, because he left me alone with his (or his wife's, as he's fond of saying) two cats. What he forgot to tell me was that they have no cat food left in the house (I think he just ran off to the store a minute ago). He'd better hurry, because the big fat one has got a wild look in its eye, and just tied a napkin around its neck. I didn't think they had that ability. Learn something new every day...

Uh oh, she just sat up on her haunches, and grabbed up a fork and knife in her front paws...
She's licking her lips???


14 December 2005

A blogger's nightmare...

...is to get so drunk, you forget what it is you were thinking the night before. You know, the post that would be so mind-blowing, people would chant your name from the rooftops...

*Aston, Aston*

So, instead of that post, I'll leave you with this:
I'm a leg and breast guy...always have been, always will be...

Thank you.
(and I swear, one day I'll update my profile so everyone can understand me fully)

13 December 2005

A new blog shining in the heavens

So, this is a blog?
This is what all the hype's about?
I'm severely unimpressed.

Hunter suggested I get myself a blog to keep myself out of mischief, and to keep my mind on something other than drinking. So, here I am...

I think I'll go back to drinking...

On a related note, I'm still working up the non-alcoholic version of Vladirian liquor for my good friend, Hunter. The guy's such a prude...One day, I'll get him to try the real stuff...he'll be a changed man.
(and I'll finally get some peace from the nagging...)

Now, where did I put that bottle??