07 October 2006

Homeowners' Associations: The Series

So, with the political climate in full swing for fall elections, what better time is there to start spreading a lot of rumor, gossip, and innuendo? Yes, happy bloggers, I'm referring to homeowners' associations.

I'm certain, much like labor unions, these relics once had a purpose. But also like the former, they've mutated into something far more sinister and deviant.

The local association here in my current neighborhood has seen fit to begin their annual crackdown on all those nasty individuals who haven't yet put in the required number of trees and bushes. Infidels, the whole lot of them!

Lucky me, I have an inside source on the board, and get a lot of good gossip.

So, get this: The board wants to implement a $150/month (No, that's not a typo...really, one hundred and fifty dollars PER MONTH) fine for anyone who isn't in compliance with the "trees and bushes" clause of covenants that were put in place by the original builder. This builder hasn't even been in the picture for years, but by golly, those rules must be important, or else why would they exist?

And that's not even the best part...the rules state that two 2-inch (diameter) trees must be planted. Now, a number of homes around the area have trees, but apparently the board is going to go around and measure everyone's trees, because some people only have (newly planted) trees that don't meet the minimum diameter.

My source tells me there's a lot of dissention on the board, though, because not everyone thinks the fine is fair (um, duh?) nor is the board playing fair, since many other rules and regulations aren't being enforced (some of which by board members themselves).

My source has also gotten many nasty-grams from others on the board, since he's at the forefront of said dissention.

It's like watching a soap opera, except without as many love triangles to try and weave through.

As far as we know...



More to come...