27 July 2012

SFFS: Yet Another Snippet from "Genesis"

Welcome to another installment of Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday on the blog. Thanks for all the feedback you give on my snippets, but be sure to go visit all of the other writers through the SFFS link above as well.

As mentioned last week, I'm slowly bringing out snippets from "Genesis," a story that I'd written long ago. So, if you didn't catch the previous snippets, here are a few links to get you back up to speed.

Snippet 1 from Genesis
Snippet 2 from Genesis

And then, head on in for today's snippet:
“I don’t have a clue,” I said with a sigh, turning my stare back inside.

A single counter stretched along the left side of the building, from about the center of the room to the far corner, with a small pass-through at the far end. A handful of round, four-place tables were scattered around us, while tall stools were fixed to the floor just this side of the bar.

We almost had the place to ourselves at this late hour. A lone bartender polished glasses behind the bar, while an old mine worker sat on one of the stools with his gray-haired head passed out next to a black, dented helmet. A half-empty bottle was loosely gripped in his hand, with his dirt-covered face turned in our direction, eyes closed.

A trio of other mine workers sat at a table in the corner, and were the only others present. Unlike the old man at the bar, who seemed a feeble one, they were big burly beasts covered with fur. They’d removed their helmets earlier, which now rested on the floor next to them. Their voices were quite loud for such a confined area and occasionally, the group would erupt into raucous laughter, beefy guttural sounds to throw off an otherwise peaceful evening.

Be sure to come back next week for yet another installment. Again, I always enjoy your comments!


  1. Sounds like your setting up for a confrontation with the miners. I liked some of the descriptors you used for the trio of workers - furry, guttural, beastly - sets a cool mood.

  2. You've got great details here. As SA pointed out--the description of the miners, both the burly beasts and the older man unconscious at the bar: very clear image.. I can easily see this scene and it seems like there definitely might be some confrontation. Looking forward to more next week.

  3. Why do I get the feeling that the "three amigos" in the corner are going to cause some trouble for our protagonists?

  4. Great description, I can clearly picture the scene. Now why do I think something bad is going to happen. :)

  5. Nice descriptions here. I love how you're setting up for conflict.

  6. Thanks for stopping by, everyone! Yes, one definitely starts to think the confrontation is going to be coming soon... :-)


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