22 December 2006

A Recipe for All

Everywhere I go, it seems as though I always get asked, "How do I get my hands on some Vladirian liquor?"

And since it's my favorite alcholic beverage, I tell everyone to get their own d*** bottle. Unfortunately, not everyone has their own interplanetary transport ship, so...

For all those who don't know the origins of Vladirian liquor, here's an excerpt from the first novel that explains it. (And apologies for the atrocious edit-job...)


As I walked onto the bridge, I felt the hyperspeed engines disengage and slowly wind down. I sat in my chair, reached down into the side pocket, and grabbed the same bottle which had put me down before. I took a small taste, just to try and ease the throbbing in my head. I’d heard the full story behind the drink from the Vladirian storekeeper peddling the stuff at my last stop, at the beginning of this leg of the
journey. A local animal, a small passive thing called a Roshtu, would secrete the liquid as a defensive measure when attacked. The sweet smell and taste of the liquid would cause the attacking predator to concentrate on lapping up the liquid, intoxicating it and allowing the Roshtu to escape unharmed. The Vladirians captured them for their secretions and sell the drink for profit. It also kept the populations in the wild under control as well, since the Roshtu also had a tendency for quick breeding times. I looked into the plastic container of the light yellow liquid, and started to wonder whether the predator ever woke up with a throbbing headache.

So, as you can see, to get the real thing would not only take a starship, you'd also have to track down a Roshtu. Animal rights activists would have a major cow (no pun intended) if I brought one here. So, I've attempted to reconstruct, to the best of my abilities, the flavor and consistency of Vladirian liquor using only Earth-based products.
(note: Hunter also won't let me have alcohol in his house, so I'm restricted to this non-alcoholic recipe for now.)

Just be warned, Vladirian liquor IS an acquired taste.

Vladirian liquor (substitute)
(all quantities approximate...your earth measurements confuse me)

1 cup unsweetened pineapple juice
(drained from a 20 oz. can of pineapple chunks)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 qt. (very approximate) half-and-half

Blend until smooth.
Serves one (of course...).